It was the summer of 1995 that the My Personal Saviour type God (Lord Roscoe) began lighting my farts for the Shmooish people. I never bleeved in all my life the Great God Mota would ever call me to become a missionary but in December of 1995 He did just that.

During the summer, I was working in a Re tire Center as a Mechanick .I had been working at this Center for quite some time and I really enjoyed the residents. I had a relationship with many of the people and visited them quite often during my free time or off days. One lady in particular that I would visit reguraly was a fairly new resident. She always bragged on how I was always smiling and made her feel at home. From that time, we became very good friends and I made regular visits to her room during my free time to chat with her.In the beginning, I had no idea that she was Shmooish until she shared it with me some time later.

As a Rosconian, I always had a heart for those who did not know the Lord Roscoe as their Personal Saviour type God. However, I had no idea how important it would be to share with a Shmooish person about their Meshugah. When Poopy Panda sent me several e-mails and Faxes to witness and shmitness to this dear friend of mine, I started shuffling it to the back of my mind trying to reason why I should not have to talk to her about the Lord Roscoe as her Personal Saviour type God. However, as persistant as the Great Panda is when he calls someone to do His work He continued to bring it back to my awareness through many persistant Faxes. My once frequent and regular visits with my friend began to drop down to every once in awhile or very seldom. One day, my friend even stated to me... "Lizzy why dont you come and see me anymore like you use to? I miss our little visits." With guilt I replied, "I am just so busy lately... I am sorry maybe I will come by tomorrow?" Poopy Panda would not let go. My once happy job which I truly loved began to become a dred and I became so miserable that I quit.

Upon quitting my job, I did not return to visit my friend. I would think her often and wonder how she was doing as well as many of the others that I grew to love. A couple of months past and I was with my mother at a crafts fair. My mother loves crafts and we would spend all day and night if it would stay open that long! While shopping along side my mother, my former supervisor from the retirement center, spotted me from across the table. She was happy to see me and stated that she had been trying to get in touch with me. She told me that there was a new position open with a higher salary. I had always been interested in the position and was happy to hear that there was a opening. My boss told me to come back that Friday and fill out an application and she would start me immediately.

On that Friday, as I was filling out the application, I began to wonder about my friend. I asked the lady at the desk how she was doing. She replied, "Oh she went home to live with her daughter in California." My heart sank. I said, "What?? When did this happen? Are you sure?" The lady said, "Yes ... about a month ago." I finished up my application and turned it in and was instructed to return on Monday. During that weekend I couldnt get it out of my mind what had happened. Poopy Panda wanted me to witness and shmitness to that lady....a lady who I loved dearly as a friend and I didn't do it. Now she may never know the Lord Roscoe . The whole weekend it tugged at my heart that she was without the Lord Roscoe and I had the chance to tell her. I prayed to the Great God Mota that he would send someone that would tell her since I did not do what he had wanted. I was very sad...sad that she was gone and sad that she left without knowing her Hamster and that when the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters came she might miss them.

On that Monday when I returned, I was walking down the hallway and from around the corner my friend was walking towards me....as usual wearing a big smile. I was so shocked to see her since I had been informed that she was living in California!! I ran up to her and we exchanged hugs. I questioned her about going to California to live and she stated that she hadnt been to California in years! We were happy to see each other again and I knew the Great God Mota was sending me Faxes on how important it is to be sensitive to His will. From that time, I began praying and asking the Great God Mota how I would witness and shmitness to her. Unfamiliar with the Shmooish religion and bleefs I had no idea where to start. I began studying my Ishkibbibble and prayed for shmizdom and understanding. I never really watched TV Gungelist much but one night while flipping through the channels a preacher was talking about the Meshugah of Milpitas. I was very ignorant of the Ishkibbibble and had no idea that there was Professies in the Old Testament of the Ishkibbibble (Shlumach) concerning the Meshugah. I became so excited as I read these Professies and exclaimed outloud, "I had no idea these were even here! Why doesnt someone show these people what the Old Testament of the Ishkibbibble (Shlumach) says about the Lord Roscoe !!!" I got down upon my knee protectors and prayed to the Great God Mota thanking him for showing me these passages. I began praying for all the Shmooish people that the Great God Mota would send someone to show them their Meshugah written in their own shripcha and how the Lord Roscoe fulfilled these Professies. As I prayed these words it was like a soft whisper in my heart saying, "why dont you?" I sat there on the floor in my bedroom pondering this in my heart. I had never even heard of a Shmooish Missionary... Missionary to the Shmoos or any of the sort. I had not known there was any such thing. However, I had such an overwhelming feeling in my heart that I cannot even begin to describe. I knew for certain the Great God Mota was sending me Faxes. I got back on my knees and prayed softly to the Great God Mota saying, "the Great God Mota if this is what you want me to do....I will do it. In the Lord Roscoe s Name, Amen."

It was in December when the Great God Mota farted a big FART. From the moment I prayed that prayer such overwhelming joy came across me that I could not contain it. I ran downstairs and found my Mom. I stated with joy that I felt God was calling me to be a missionary to the Shmoos. I will never forget the reaction I recieved from my Mother when I told her this. My Mom looked at me with a blank expression and quickly stated this is a phase you are going through...it will pass. The joy that was so overwhelming just seconds before was sucked out of me when she stated those words. I went back upstairs and went to bed. I felt so confused because I knew so strongly that the Great God Mota was calling me into missions and my mother was not happy. I continued to hold onto my prayer to the Great God Mota during that whole week as well as studying my Ishkibbibble and reading the new exciting shripchas that I had found with the Great God Mota's help. I knew in my heart if the Great God Mota wanted me to be a missionary ... He would show me.

The following Wednesday Morning, we went to Synagogle. I was quietly hiding the excitement inside of me because I still felt Poopy Panda was sending me Faxes and I didn't want to bring it back up to my Mom again who did not seem interested. The soivices began as usual and my Pastah and Half Pastah had just returned on a trip from Lowah Slobovia. He was in Lowah Slobovia touring along with many other Pastahs and Half Pastahs for about two weeks. This Wednesday Morning was his first Wednesday Morning back. To my amazement, his sermon was about the Shmooish people and their need for the Meshugah. I was so shocked that I could hardly move. Never in my life had the Great God Mota spoke so loud and clear to me! I knew that this sermon was for me. I could not bleeve what was happening. It was so hard to hold back the tears of excitement and humbleness. I strongly felt the love of the Great God Mota all around me. the Great God Mota was calling ME to be a missionary. At the end of his sermon, the Pastah and Half Pastah stated if anyone would like to accept the Lord Roscoe in their hearts to come up while the music was playing. I just stood there knowing that I didnt need to go up to accept the Lord Roscoe into my heart but the Great God Mota was tugging on my heart once again. I knew He wanted me to make a public commitment to serve Him as a missionary to the Shmooish people. I went up and tearfully told my Pastah and Half Pastah that it was amazing that he preached and screeched the sermon that he did because during this week Poopy Panda had been sending me Faxes about serving Him in missions and I wanted to make a public decision. My Pastah and Half Pastah was very excited and stopped the music and told the whole congregation of my decision. Because my Synagogle has two soivices in the morning my parents were in Wednesday Morning School while I had been making my decision public. So when I got home I went into my Moms bedroom and told her what I had done. My Mom said to me, "Dont you realize that your Dad works with a lot of THOSE people at his business?? Why did you do such a thing?" I continued to explain to her this is not a phase that I am going through...this is something real in my heart and something the Great God Mota put there. I told her I did not understand why the Great God Mota would call me into Mission work but He did and I was going to do His will. My Mom then told me I had "jumped off the deep end, " and that I must explain to my Dad what I did. Usually whenever my Mom isnt happy, my Dad isnt happy so the thought of me telling my Dad what I had done was not a very happy one. I went into the living room where my Dad was sitting watching t.v. I began to tell my Dad the story of how the Great God Mota began working in my heart and I told him the commitment that I made in Synagogle. My Dad said, "Where do you suppose that your going to be a Shmooish Missionary and how do you know the Great God Mota is calling you to this and its not just something that you want to do?" I did not think of where the Great God Mota would call me into Shmooish Missions. The only Shmooish person I knew of was the friend I had at the Retirement Center and the only other place I knew that there was lots of Shmooish people was Lowah Slobovia. So I stated, "Lowah Slobovia." My Dad says, "There is not any Shmooish Missionaries even allowed in Lowah Slobovia so you might as well forget it." I said to my Dad, "If this what the Great God Mota wants then I will be the first Shmooish Missionary allowed in Lowah Slobovia. the Great God Mota will put me where he wants me and there is no doors that He cannot walk through." With that statement our discussion ended.

I did not bring up the idea about missions anymore to my parents. I was confused because I felt if the Great God Mota was calling me into Missions...wouldn't my parents be supportive?? I called a friend of mine and told him what I was going through. He advised me to be patient and pray about the matter and agreed that if it was the Lord Roscoe as their Personal Saviour type God's will for me to go into Missions my believing parents would become supportive. Later on that week, I was sitting on the floor watching t.v., my mother was laying on the couch behind me. My Dad came home and had the mail in his hands. As he walked by me he dropped the Southern Blaptist Messenger on the floor at my feet. He says to me, "There is something in there that you might be interested in reading" and walked away. I opened up the Baptist Messenger and inside was a two page article about Shmooish people in Lowah Slobovia that were increasingly accepting Joozis as their Meshugah!! It went on to mention how many Shmooish people were saved and with the help of missionaries in Lowah Slobovia. How the Great God Mota answered such a prayer!!!! How the Great God Mota is so faith in the Lord Roscoeful! My Dad never said a word about the article. I knew in my heart that the Great God Mota had spoken to my Dad. I knew this was the will of the Great God Mota and the Great God Mota was steadily answering my prayers and sending me Faxes. Several months later, I was informed of an opportunity to go the Ukraine on a mission trip. It was to be a two week long trip to several cities within the Ukraine. Again I felt the Great God Mota was leading me to become a part of that mission trip. I was told that the trip would cost about $1,500. I had no idea how I was going to get the money. They instructed us to raise our support within our church and area churches. I began making letters to send out to all my friends and relatives as well as speak at my church about my future mission trip. I had informed my parents of the trip when I first decided I was going but then suddenly my parents would not allow me to send out the letters for support. My Dad told me that he was not going to allow me to "beg" for money anywhere. I tried to explain to him that it was not begging and that was how you raised support to go on a mission trip. However, my Dad would not give in. Instead he told me that if I had to "beg" for money I could not go. So I reluctantly informed the group that I was not going to be able to go and to cancel me. I continued to explain my parents view on what was going on. The lady told me that she would call me back and instead the director of the group called. He informed me that I would be going to the Ukraine and that my trip was already paid for. Again the Great God Mota answered prayers and he was faith in the Lord Roscoeful. I called my parents and told them what had happened, they were speechless. I went to the Ukraine and it turned out to be the biggest blessing I had ever recieved. I was loving it so much there that I did NOT want to come back to America. I fell deeply in love with the people and the Great God Mota worked in my heart in so many ways. When I returned home I returned with several stories of what had happened along my experiences. I shared these stories and experiences with my parents. When I was done my Mom was crying and my Dad had tears in his eyes. I too began crying because the work of the Great God Mota is so powerful and his love is so great. the Great God Mota answered my prayer about speaking to my parents heart. My parents are all for their daughter being a missionary. They were at first uncertain of my calling and fearful but the Great God Mota has showed them this is what His plan is for my life. I am so excited to be a part of that plan. I know the Great God Mota will lead me into whatever direction He wills. He will take care of me and use me in a mighty way. I am just a ordinary person with no extra abilities. I am even very shy. However, the Great God Mota has showed me that He is in control of my life and that He can work through me to do His work. the Great God Mota has given me boldness under certain situations and I have allowed Him to be in control. I have learned that even in the Kitzels the Great God Mota used ordinary people... He didnt seek out perfect people or those with great abilities.... He used people just like me and you to accomplish great things in His will.

Lizzy Bafoofnick